The Internet, as in the entire connected world of all websites, have one singular obsession: cats. As a dog person, I’ve never gotten why people are so smitten with cats. I’ve been around a lot of cats, pets of friends and strays, and they’re nice for a bit. Then, they’ll start minding their own business and act like you’re not even there. I do admit they’re very much like dogs in a lot of ways, but I will always pick a dog over a cat.
Recently, I’ve been around a cat more times than I usually do because a friend got one. One day, when we were drinking, the cat felt playful and went along our worm games. Maybe she licked vodka off of one of the glasses, but the cat got cuddly. That was surprising, because the 20 times I’ve been at my friend’s house, this cat didn’t even get out of the bedroom. The next time I came back, the cat won’t even go near me and just stayed in the bedroom again. So, she’s hard to please like all the cats in the Internet. Do people just get a kick from having a cat’s approval?
A Good Guy, Bad Guy Scenario
Everyone’s been through a crush that should’ve ended from the beginning, but for some reason, this person compelled us. A quick guess as to this crush’s profile is: one who doesn’t pay attention, has an air of arrogance, and has a reputation for being bad. I don’t know exactly how to define “bad,” but I trust you to understand what I’m talking about. This interest of ours becomes even stronger when we know that this crush doesn’t really want to be with us. Science says that rejection fuels the parts of our brain responsible for addiction and reward. So, the more our crushes reject us, the more we feel attracted to them.
With the amount of love cats receive on the Internet, it’s obvious we have an attraction to them. Cats, like our crushes who shouldn’t be our crushes, are indifferent. From my experience, if you don’t feed them or provide boxes where they can squeeze in, you might as well be a lamp post. You don’t exist. As a result, you try harder to please your car or your friend’s car because she’s cute and you want her admiration. You shower her with attention, buy her foods, and generally give her nicer things than what you have.
Does it sound familiar? If yes, then you probably experienced pleasing someone who couldn’t wait to get away from you. If no, then I suppose it’s nice up there in your throne. This does explain our addiction to cats, but we’d be remiss if we don’t give cats their due. They are adorable.
From Fearsome Predator to a Fluffy One
We all know that cats are descendants of the sabretooth, a primitive feline predator with fangs like actual knives. From that point, though, felines have evolved to become less predatory and be more couch-friendly. Don’t get it wrong, any cat will go after a rat like it’s a plate of ribs. But the fact that these couch potatoes were once a feared hunter makes them even more adorable. With their big bellies and spiffy paws, who could think that these were once adept predators?
Where else can we really start but Grumpy Cat, the world-famous sour-puss from Morristown, Arizona. Her name is really Tardar Sauce, but who cares about that? She is one of the biggest memes in the world, and probably the biggest cat celebrity of all time. She’s not really grumpy, as her owner confirmed, and most of the time, she’s just a regular cat. But who can really tell with that permanent scowl on her face? Every celebrity who’s been photographed with Tardar Sauce made the face she regularly makes, so you can bet that this cat has clout.
Next up is Maru, and his Google-translated YouTube titles. Maru is a Scottish Fold, and simply enough, he is terribly cute. He always seeks all the boxes and tries to fit his ploppy self in, no matter the size of the box. If you haven’t seen him go about his day, you really should visit his YouTube page. He’s also a famous meme. Do you really need any more proof that cats rule the Internet?
Just in case you think cats just popped up in the Internet, here are three examples that they’ve been here since the beginning. You may have seen keyboard cat in some website as a vague reference, but when memes were young, keyboard cat was a massive, hilarious hit. Much like our love for cats, it’s indecipherable why we find keyboard cat funny. Or maybe it’s as simple as it’s a cat playing the piano.
Of course, how can we forget Can I HazCheesburger cat. This one plagued my emails for a bit because this cat, named Fatso, probably started the Internet’s love affair with felines. Fatso has passed, but his VHS-period footage of playing the piano will forever live on. The meme of that video even has its own agent, which means that little piece of looping video probably earns more than you. It’s a bit sad (for us) and baffling (also for us).
The last one is Nyan cat, and if you’re young, you probably haven’t heard about it. You probably also haven’t seen it out in public. Are you getting the clues here? Nyan cat isn’t an actual cat, but a flying cat GIF that became famous on the early days of the 2000s Internet. How do I explain Nyan cat’s appeal? It’s flying? It’s leaving a trail of rainbows? It’s purple? That’s really all, but for some reason, it’s captivating.
We’re probably making too big of a deal of cats, who sometimes we call to be agents of the devil. If they do bring upon the rise of the primeval evil, nobody’s point any fingers. This is a doom we all brought on ourselves.